Day Six.... the final day.....
It's been 25 years since my first "day six", but I can still close my eyes and be right there with 3000 other people in the OKC Civic Center. It was probably midnight before we went to bed the night before...now, at 8 AM it starts again. Thirteen hours of lecture...Just what my 12 year old self needed.
The next principle is the Principle of Ownership. Mr Gothard takes aim here, at what appears to be a rise in materialism in the early 60's, by defining this principle as "Understanding that everything I have has been entrusted to me by God, and wisely using it for his purposes." This is actually a pretty decent idea when applied to material goods...partially because we tend to take better care of other people's things than we do our own, but once again, Mr. Gothard seems to lay a foundation for abusive behavior when he extends this concept to include not only material items but also expectations.
We were "strongly encouraged", a phrase used to put the fear of God in the hearts of many young people, to "yield our rights" to our expectations of how others should act...this was addressed primarily in relationship to expectations laid on authority figures, although there was some discussion of the expectation of parents to children and spouses to one another. We learned that not yielding rights to our expectations produces bitterness(a stronghold which must be torn down) in our lives. We learned, but not in so many words, that those under authority had no rights and should have no expectations, but those in authority had rights and their expectations must be lived up to.
One more principle that stripped us o our humanity, our true courage, our wonder....Another weight, another expectation we must live up to, while we were afforded none. We learned that to be angry, disappointed, hurt or confused were all evidences of failing to yield some right or expectation. Even adults were expected to give up their right to make decisions for themselves to their parents, especially in the areas relating love and marriage and the raising of their children.
Of course, many of these lessons were not taught outright at the Basic Seminar... some of them you had to attend an Advanced Seminar to learn, but more of them came through the homeschool curriculum, or were implied and enforced over time inside the organization.
the reality is that while the original idea is solid it strays in the teaching. It is good to guard your belongings and even your expectations loosely because that will generate less friction. However, there are certain expectations that should be held...that should be met. The expectation of a child that their parents will love them and do anything to protect them. The expectation that justice will be served...The expectation to be treated with a measure of respect...
There is a difference between being a "steward" and a doormat, and Mr Gothard knows how to craft doormats!
By effectively removing expectations, Mr. Gothard built a generation with no personal values, no intrinsic self-worth, no innate confidence. We became parrots, peacocking values that were not our own and wearing paper armor.
So...What is the moral here?.... Honestly, Who Knows?
It's ok to view life as if you own nothing, to treat others with deference and give to those with needs...in fact, that is noble... but if you let yourself get walked on once, you will keep getting trampled until you get up off the ground and grab an expectation and resolutely say "NO MORE!"
NO MORE...will I let you treat me without respect for who I am as a person, an individual, and an adult!
NO MORE will I let you make my decisions for me as if I were two years old!
NO MORE will I kowtow to your values because they are what you believe I should believe!
NO MORE will I refuse to hold you accountable to the standard you judge me by!
NO MORE will I look the other way when the innocent are being abused!
NO MORE will I stand idly by when you mock me, degrade me and intentionally wound me!
NO MORE will I give up my right to expect you to treat me with kindness, love and respect.
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